At BHTNH, we believe how we talk with each other is as important as the content of what we say. There is immense value in being mindful about how we communicate and connect with each other, especially when trying to create a safe, equitable, and inclusive space. To help us achieve this, we use community agreements.
For the EWH Tea Talk Series, we hope you will agree to the following ground rules that we will review before each talk to set expectations for how we want to communicate with each other. Establishing community agreements gives us a way to hold ourselves and others accountable for honest and respectful communication with one another.
We Agree To:
- Be Present
- Be Respectful
- Listen. Actively listening to all participants, and being open to hearing perspectives different from our own, are a key foundation to creating a space in which everyone can contribute in a meaningful way.
- Share Airtime – make room for everyone. Balancing taking space and making space also helps flatten existing hierarchies of who should be heard the most, or who should be expected to share on certain topics. Reflecting on ourselves and whether we tend to take space or make space in a given conversation can be a helpful tool in managing this balance.
- Focus on the idea, not the person. Critical dialogue requires examining ideas and challenging one another to consider alternative perspectives. While we can’t entirely separate thoughts and perspectives from the people who share them, it is important to question and critique the ideas being presented, rather than the person presenting them, to allow all participants to continue to engage without feeling shut down.
- Be Crisp and say what is core.
- Be open-minded. We all come in with preconceived notions and assumptions about others and the world around us. Naming these, or calling attention to them when we notice them surfacing, allows us to use them in a way to gain a better understanding of where people might be coming from.
- Honor Confidentially. Creating spaces where people feel comfortable being candid and vulnerable can be incredibly powerful. It’s important to recognize that this comfort often comes from the trust built with the group and mutually agreed-upon ground rules. Therefore, someone may choose to share something in one space, but they may not be comfortable with it being shared by someone else in another space. While we encourage people to take what they learned and share it with others, names, identifying details, and private information should remain confidential.
- It’s okay to put issues like race and class on the table.
- Take risks, be raggedy, make some mistakes – accept that this isn’t easy, then let go. Accept that things may remain unresolved.
Big questions and concepts rarely have simple answers, and when time is limited and a conversation must come to a close, it can feel like things are being left unresolved both in the group and within ourselves. It’s important to remember that dialogue is both a process and approach, rather than a solution or means to a clear end. The lack of closure we feel from not having all the answers can help us maintain a sense of curiosity and humility, and even encourage us to revisit and continue the conversation at a later time.
Thank you for participating in these conversations with us.
